6:10 p,m, It's Been a Bad Day

Didn't get as much done as I wanted to. I'm upset about that. I'm upset about breaking a cup while cleaning. No, that's not the end of the world, but my mind has this way of convincing me that I'm a fuck up when I don't get things perfectly right, when I don't live up to my expectations. I'm an overachiever in work and school, and sometimes in stupid things like breaking cups. For some reason, that sent me into a downward spiral. Maybe because of the stress that's building. Ended up with a horrible headache on top of it, which might be because I missed my Lamictal this morning. It's known for headaches, and since I get so few headaches, when I do get one, they lay me out. I don't know how people walk around functioning when their head, one of the most used parts of their body, is throbbing like an aching tooth. I can't deal with it. And for some reason, I got so tired that I crawled back into bed until about 5:30 p.m. I was glad I got up, at least, before Jb got home because I would have been ashamed to still be in bed after he worked all day. Besides that, we can't get the keys for the new apartment until tomorrow, and I know how upset he is about that. He was hoping to move things over today. I, being subversive and just... tired, am sort of glad, but I can't seem like I need a break, not when he's pushing so hard. So it's just... a bad day. And I'll be getting through the next few days on sheer strength of will and fumes. Because I don't feel up to it at all, but I have to do it. And when I say I'm tired, I know that's a euphemism I use when I'm depressed, or heading there.