4:15 p.m. Irrational Impulse

I'm suddenly struck by an urge to get another cat. In my mind, we need another cat. We must have another cat. Right now. Right this week. Forget the moving, the packing. The cat is more important. Belle needs a friend, someone to play with. To hell with the fact that money's so tight we don't have the 300 plus it'd cost to adopt a new cat, visit the vet. In my irrational need, I'm sure we could find the money. And this is an investment! It'll make Belle happy, make me happy. Another cat to love, another to save. Yes, yes: why shouldn't we? We'd be fabulous parents. The cat would be fabulous! Belle and the cat would be the best of friends! We'd be a real little family in a new little apartment, and wouldn't life itself be fabulous then?

-sigh- These things exhaust me. They have no real root in reality, and I can see that, but the impulse is amazing and hard to repress. I almost feel like I will be devastated if I don't get another cat. How fucked up is that? If I had access to money and Jb's approval, I'd apply this minute for another cat. We'd pick out all the accessories two cats might need. We'd introduce them, watch over them, laugh at how they take to each other, arms around each other like some married couple with a fond appreciation for a pair of toddlers. God, what is this a substitute for? I know it means something, meant to assuage some fear -- the move? I'm shaking with the compulsion, and it feels like only spending, only acquiring will make it go away.