11:02 a.m. Stupid, Stupid

Stupid, stupid me. I didn't take my Lamictal or Klonopin this morning. I wonder if it's too late to now. I wonder if I forgot to yesterday, too. I'm not used to taking anything in the morning. And I wonder if this has anything to do with the tireds. I think I took my Lamictal last night without thinking and wonder if it's worth taking two this morning or waiting now.

And speaking of stupid, my morning dreams are coming back to me now. I'm in a college dorm and Jb and B, an old co-worker of mine, are stripping naked and jumping out the window to a snow-covered ledge below to... flaunt their nakedness? I've honestly no idea. It's clear they think it's a good idea, despite the snow. There is some public security officer talk out on the roof, and a little defiance, but eventually, they come back upstairs. I, of course, am only afraid of getting into trouble and don't see the humor in the whole thing. This is typical of me. Everything must be just right, I must be just right, I must not get into trouble, I must keep the status quo, I must be perfect.

Because deep inside I know how truly imperfect I am.

Later in the dream, I'm frying my uncle Frank a salmon sandwich, except the salmon curls up into grey little elephants that talk to each other in the pan, and I'm wondering how I'm going to be able to serve this on a sandwich, and they're certainly not big enough for two sandwiches.

Strange take on the usual pink elephant dream, especially considering I was completely sober this morning. Unless a lack of meds can simulate such things.